Ex-haus-ted

09
May
2013

Sweet Mother Mary I’m exhausted today.    Kassi B, my sweet little ALMOST one year old  Grandbaby (10 more days!) woke at up 2:30 this morning with a tummy ache.  Her Mommy got up with her of course, but my Mimi Bear instincts still kept me awake while she was crying.   Then the Husband had to leave early to go to a sale in St. Louis … so his alarm was set for 3:30 am.    I’m an awesome wife (duh!) so I got up with him and made him some coffee and breakfast (Translation: Keurig! and canned biscuits in the oven ..ha!)   So by the time he finally got out the door, I was wide awake for the day.  Now, not so much.  I’m sitting in my cozy little office … it’s gloomy as hell outside … my ceiling fan makes the perfect white noise sound … and my eyelids are getting heavier and heavier.

Wake it up LC!

1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
My closet is actually off of my bathroom and doesn’t have a door … so …
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Every. Single. Time.
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Tucked in at the foot of the bed … out everywhere else.
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Yes
5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
I am ADDICTED to Post-its.  All shapes, sizes and colors :)
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
This is exactly what I do.
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Bear ???
8:Do you have freckles?
Some yes.  Not as many as when I was younger.
9:Do you always smile for pictures?
I love taking pictures … but hate being in them.  I’m NOT photogenic.  But yes … I “try” to smile when I have to.
10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
Hearing people chew their food.  (I have hundreds … that one just popped in my head.)
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
SO much so that I drive myself nuts.
12:Have you ever peed in the woods?
Yes
13:What about pooped in the woods?
NO.
14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
Ohh yes.
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
A lot.  And I know it’s gross.  But … I do.
16:How many people have you slept with this week?
Husband …
17:What size is your bed?
Queen
18:What is your Song of the week?
Scream & Shout …. it’s will.i.am and Britney Bitch
I Will Wait … Mumford && Sons
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
My Husband doesn’t … but I think anyone can wear anything they want.  I’m cool with whatever.
20:Do you still watch cartoons?
I watch My Little Pony with Kassi B.
21:Whats your least favorite movie?
All of the scary ones.
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
I wouldn’t.  Ever.  That’s dumb.
23:What do you drink with dinner?
Water normally
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Hot mustard
25:What is your favorite food?
I don’t have one favorite.  I love food.  LOTS of food.
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Steel Magnolias.  Pretty Woman.  Dirty Dancing.  What About Bob.  How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.  A Little Bit of Heaven.  Almost Famous.  (Okay…almost anything with Kate Hudson..I love her.)  The Twilight Movies.  Little Miss Sunshine.  Juno.  The Hangover.  Due Date.  The Blind Side.  Good Will Hunting.  The Color Purple.  The Wizard of Oz.  Fried Green Tomatoes.  The Help.  The Proposal.  E.L.F.  Something About Mary.  Office Space.  Picture Perfect.  Marley & Me.  (Again … lots of Jennifer Aniston … Love her too.)  28 days.  Forces of Nature.  Hope Floats.  Practical Magic (Add Sandra Bullock to my list of love it alls!)  Forrest Gump.  The Green Mile.  You’ve Got Mail.  Shawshank Redemption.
27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?
My cute Husband
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
I was a Brownie.  Got to sell Girl Scout cookies :) Best part!
♫ Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is silver and the other gold.
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
No way.  No one wants to see that.
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I do every once in a while.  Usually to my Husband.
31:Can you change the oil on a car?
No.  That’s why I have a Husband … and a son … and a phone to call and make an appointment if they aren’t around.
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Ohh yes.
33:Ever ran out of gas?
I’ve come SO close.  SO many times.  But no … not yet.
34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
Turkey, on wheat with mayo and cucumber slices on it.
At Subway … White bread, provolone cheese, roasted chicken and bacon, toasted… with spinach, tomato, mayo, black olives, onions and salt and pepper.
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
cold pizza
36:What is your usual bedtime?
10-11ish
37:Are you lazy?
yes.
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
long time ago and too many to remember.
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
I’m a rabbit.
40:How many languages can you speak?
Just English.  And sarcasm.  And hashtag.
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Not anymore.  I used to get Oprah and Rachael Ray but let them go.
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos
43:Are you stubborn?
Terribly
44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman?
Letterman
45:Ever watch soap operas?
I’ve stopped watching The Bold & the Beautiful if you can believe it.
46:Are you afraid of heights?
Not heights … but falling.  If I’m secure in a building or on a rooftop (OR IN THE ARCH!)  I’m fine.  I will never bungee jump or skydive.
47:Do you sing in the car?
Constantly.
48:Do you sing in the shower?
Occasionally
49:Do you dance in the car?
Very much so.
50:Ever used a gun?
Not in a long time.
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
My Sister’s wedding ??? 2008 (But we take pictures using the family camera constantly.)
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Yes … but I’d still love to see Wicked.
53:Is Christmas stressful?
VERY.  But I also love it at the same time.
54:Ever eat a pierogi?
A what ???
55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
Cherry.  Or Blackberry.
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A Mommy … or a Navy pilot.
57:Do you believe in ghosts?
YES YES YES YES YES YES and YES.
I’ve witnessed first hand some freaky stuff.  They’re real.  Believe me.
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
A lot.  So often that it’s just normal now.
59:Take a vitamin daily?
When I’m being good I do.  I TRY to always but I forget.
60:Wear slippers?
No.  I’m a barefoot baby.
61:Wear a bath robe?
Nope.
62:What do you wear to bed?
Tshirts – Yoga pants – PJ shorts – Nothing at all – Just whatever mood strikes me.
63:First concert?
Poison, Warrant && Firehouse!
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target
65:Nike or Adidas?
Nike usually
66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Sunflower Seeds … but I eat both … a lot.
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
No.
69:Ever take dance lessons?
For a very short period of time when I was very little … and very shy.
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Exactly what he’s doing now.
71:Can you curl your tongue?
No.
72:Ever won a spelling bee?
I can’t spell for shit.
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
I have.
74:Own any record albums?
At my parent’s house there are some … not at my house tho.
75:Own a record player?
No … but there’s at least one at the parents house.
76:Regularly burn incense?
No.  I used to some times.  Haven’t in forever.
77:Ever been in love?
YES ♥♥♥♥
78:Who would you like to see in concert?
So So So many.  I love music.
79:What was the last concert you saw?
Memphis in May 2011.  I’m SO due.
80:Hot tea or cold tea?
Neither.
81:Tea or coffee?
Neither.
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Snickerdoodles.
83:Can you swim well?
Yes.
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes.
85:Are you patient?
Not really…
86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
Both ?!?
87:Ever won a contest?
No.  Very unlucky.
88:Ever have plastic surgery?
Why yes I have.  And I’d do it again.  Ohhh that’s right … I PLAN on it FOR SURE!
89:Which are better black or green olives?
I love both equally.  But … Black … cause they fit on the ends of your fingers.
90:Can you knit or crochet?
No and no.
91:Best room for a fireplace?
The Living Room ???  Although I’d loved to have a huge bedroom/bathroom with one.
92:Do you want to get married?
But there … done that.  Best decision ever.
93:If married, how long have you been married?
14 years this May.  (Lived together 18 years this July tho.)
94:Who was your HS crush?
Who knows.  Different boy every day lol.
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Not anymore.  I just do what I want.
96:Do you have kids?
Yup. 2
97:Do you want kids?
Done with that.
98:Whats your favorite color?
Tiffany blue and hot pink.
Not together tho.
99:Do you miss anyone right now?
My Bub.  Ready for him to relocate his ass back home!

 

Clearly I’m really good at coming up with goals and ideas, but my follow through is lacking.  A lot.

No apologies here tho.  I have a life.  A messy, wonderful, hectic life … a life that gets in the way and …. ummm … takes on a life of it’s own.  ha!

So I decided to start this week out a little different.

Normally, I’m a SLEEPER.  I love sleep.  I normally fall in bed around 10ish … which is not too early and definitely not too late.  I have friends that stay up until 1 and 2 in the morning still.   I have friends/family with major insomnia issues (Note:  Insomnia still graces my doorway a few times a year … but overall I think I’ve kicked that demon OUT of my head) and they only sleep a few hours a night, if that.   I’m normally a draggy mess in the mornings, crawling out of bed around 7:30ish to make sure the boy child is up for School and then I get “up-UP” a little after 8am … and have to be at work at 9am.

Early mornings … I do not like.

But today (granted I’m taking it to an extreme), I woke up at 4:30 … with a FIRE lit under me.

In 25 minutes I have …

  1. Folded the towels in the dryer.
  2. Switched the washer load to the dryer so I’d have jeans for the day.
  3. Started unloading the dishwasher (we made some FOOD yesterday so I still have another sink full of dishes to start this morning).
  4. Put a baby back to sleep (forgot the QUIET factor in cleaning v. sleeping baby land.)
  5. Took pictures of my Birchbox/Ipsy bags … which I’ve been meaning to blog about for weeks.
  6. Made a Diet Mt. Dew w/ ice and heated me up a little snack.
  7. Sorted through my mail – threw out the junk mail – started making myself my weekly ToDo List.

So it’s 5 exactly right now and I’m typing up this blog post.

MAYBE this early morning thing is the key to me getting shit done during the day.

While I DO plan on getting to work earlier than usual today I have tons of time!  Which feels GREAT!

My plan is to hop in the shower and get READY … so I don’t feel like I need to lay back down.  I have so much energy, I just don’t see a reason today.

Then I can finish with the dishes (no way did I want the baby up for the day earlier… and I’m pretty sure her Mommy didn’t either lol) … plan dinner for tonight … throw in some cinnamon rolls for the kids for breakfast … pack the car for the week w the stuff I’ll need from home … keep on with my To Do List which makes me feel super organized … get the kiddo up around 7 and then head my ass to WORK.

Today is starting off GREAT!

Well here we are on Day 3 of my diet and I’m still rocking right along.

Except …. I woke up this morning in PAIN.  Like a lot of pain.  My ankles hurt.  Like OhMyLanta hurt.  I went for a long walk on Monday, but yesterday it was cold and my Daughter needed me to watch Miss Kassi B, so I didn’t do any exercise.   I guess it’s possible that it’s soreness from Monday, but highly unlikely.  I mean, I walked fast and hard 2 miles on my first walk at 5pm and another mile around 9pm while I was bored.  But, I just don’t think this pain is from that.    Normally I can walk nonstop for days and never even feel that sore.

Also, my elbows hurt in the bends … and when I reached my arms over my head to stretch earlier, OMG!  Super crazy pain in my rib cage.

So bottom line, I have all over muscle/joint pain basically.

What I know for sure …  is that I am definitely drinking enough water.  I could up my intake for sure, but I know I’m getting at least 64 ounces per day.   (Most days over 100).  And I haven’t had any juice, soda, tea, etc.  Just water.

My diet for the last three days has basically been no meat and nothing with a bar code (with one exception.)

I’ve eaten bananas, strawberries, apples, lemons and oranges.   Organic spinach leaves, tomatoes, yellow squash, zucchini, and white onion.   A few sunflower seeds and my only bar code … a small portion of peppercorn ranch dressing on my spinach and tomato salad.  Ohh and a little salt and pepper.  And I’m not eating just a little.  I’m eating when I’m hungry.  The fruit mostly for breakfast, with a banana snack in the afternoon.  The spinach and tomatoes for lunch … and the squash, zucchini and onion I steamed on the stove and have heated it up for the past 2 nights for supper.  (It’s my fave!)

So I don’t know if my body is freaking out with the diet change … or if my body really needs something in the meat that it’s used to eating.  Or maybe I’m wrong and I’m just dehydrated … or sore from walking.

Hmmmmm.

 

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On top of my monthly goals (see previous post) I’m going to also set up some weekly goals for myself.  I have the hardest time battling procrastination.    Seems like I do a better job if I can make a list, and stick to it.   So this week here is a list of things I’d like to check off …

1 – Call to make an appointment to get my eyebrows and upper lip waxed.   In desperate need and I always put myself last.

2 – Call and set up an appointment for my little Drewbie dog to get a bath and groomed.

3 – Call and set up another appointment with our accountant.

4 – Get the final two things done to have the books ready to drop off at the accountant.

5 – Finish making myself a budget on my iPad.  I got an app and started entering information, but got distracted and haven’t returned to finish.

6 – Begin Yard Sale prep work.  I have to have a huge sale this year and clean out some of the clutter.

7 – Deposit my Birthday money in my savings account before I end up spending it.

8 – Get my nails done again this weekend.

9 – Have a girls night with a friend, even if it’s only for an hour.

10 – Upload all of the pictures off of my Memory Cards.

11 – Remember to take 8-10 seconds of daily video for a project I’m doing this month.

12 – Get more pictures printed for my Life Project.

13 – ENJOY THE START OF BASEBALL SEASON (Today’s the Season Opener.)

14 – Take pictures of Kassi B with her Easter ears on and in her Cardinal Gear.

15 – Start getting things together for her Birthday Party.

16 – Pick outfits for her first birthday pictures so that her photographer can start planning.

17 – Order her smashcake for her pictures and order her main cake (and smashcake) for her party.

Sounds like a lot, but it’s really not.  A lot of that I can check off with just a few phone calls.  I think I’ll get started right now!

APRIL 1 !!!!!

A whole new month and I’ve decided that I’m gonna meet this month head on!  With goals and determination.  The next 30 days are gonna ROCK!

GOALS!


One
Today I start a healthier way of eating in order to get ready for vacation (which is in August) … so I have 4 months to prepare!  I’ve fallen so far off  the wagon, it’s not even funny.   I’m an emotional eater and I’d say the last few years, I’ve eaten myself UP 40 or more pounds.  Before pictures have been taken.  Measurements have been written down.  I’m ready to make a change.   Went to the store on my lunch hour and stocked up on fruits and vegetables.

Two
No soda for the month of April.  And honestly, this might be the easiest goal I’ve come up with for myself.  I’m not a huge soda drinker.  I actually LOVE water.  So once I set my mind to this … it’ll come pretty easy.

Three
I’m not going to say that I’m not going to eat ANY meat for the entire month.  But I am going to commit that I will have LOTS and LOTS of days where I eat no meat .  (Today being the first.)

Don’t get me wrong.  I LOVE meat.  I love nothing more than a huge steak cooked medium over the grill.  Or 9 pounds (lol) of bacon on my plate for breakfast lol.  But lately, I’ve been reading and researching a more clean way of eating, and I think I’m going to give it a  try.  Fruits and vegetables mostly … like 90 percent of time.  Might even get me a juicer and try that?  I don’t know.  But I will commit that I will eat NO red meat during the month of April.  The days I eat meat, I will eat chicken or turkey or fish or seafood.  Something ‘white’ … not red.

Four
I’m going to read at least 4 books this month.  I’ve been slacking on my reading, and it’s something that I really enjoy doing.  First up ???  ”The Host” by Stephanie Meyer.  I don’t know what it is with me and this book.  I’ve started it probably 5 times and only gotten maybe 10 percent through it.  Now that the movie is out (or coming out?) … I need to make myself read it before I see it.  Follow me on Goodreads if you wanna !!

Five
Exercise!   Even if it’s just a walk or a jog or doing an exercise video at home … I need to make myself move at least 5 days a week.   We have a gym membership that never gets used, but truthfully I hope the weather warms up this month so I can get some fresh air and take Kassi B for walks to and from the park etc.    I use MyFitnessPal and plan to start logging my diet and exercise this month.  User name is justmelc if you want to add me on there!

Six
Finally my last goal I have set for myself is to blog every day in April.  Blogpril ??? Aprilog ???  lol  I have lots of ideas jotted down that I’d like to blog about, and  I think it’ll keep me more accountable on my other goals if I’m sharing the experience with you guys as I go along.  

Let’s DO THIS THING !!!!!!!! 

How’s that for a title.

So yeah.  I had a Birthday on Monday.  Turned 28 years old.  Again.  I think 28 was my favorite age so I’m just gonna stick right here and refuse to move on.  When I’m in a nursing home if one of you crazy people brings me a cake with more than 28 candles on it, we will not be friends any longer.  You’ve been warned.

I’m not gonna lie.  Monday sucked ass.  In a big bad way.  Nothing was going right.  Lost keys.  Return trips home when I needed to be working.  Lost debit card.  No gas in my car.  My dog deciding to have ummmmm ‘tummy’ troubles that day INSIDE my home.  Yeah.    So come the evening time, I was ready to relax.

Step one.  Drink a beer.

Step Two.  Eat at the Pilot House which has the best. damn. bar. food. ever.   Like EVER EVER.  I’m pretty sure they’re not a chain bar .. so if you’re not local already,  you’re gonna have to visit me to discover the greatness.   Seriously hop a plane.  I’ll buy the beer.  Talk about comfort food.   Worthy of one of those Diners, Drive Ins and Dives reviews!  For reals.

So I ate.  And drank (another) beer.  And opened presents.  And then did a little shopping …. for my son ???  Yeah.  Kid lucked out with some pretty sweet Affliction Jeans with me thinking … Hmmmmmmm.  Whose Birthday is it around here ?!?   lol

Naw.  He needed jeans.  It was planned.  I’m a Mom like that.

Step Three.  Get home and open me a bottle of wine and relax.

Overall it was a very Happy Birthday.

 

 

Testing out a random IPad app that I came across tonight.
Full review if I love it. Full bashing (not really) if it sucks.
Let's you drop and drag Instagram photos … No copy paste. No embedding codes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Flickr pics
And Facebook pics…

Lots of other bells and whistles but gotta see if the basics work first.

Wanna know a fact about me ???

I LOVE the word FACT!  Love it.  I use it every day.

Example of the way I use the word Fact.   I’ll randomly just blurt out … FUN FACT!  I’m freaking tired.  The End.  (You really do just have to know me in real life to understand my speech patterns.  I have a language all of my own.)

So let’s start a new something here on this lonely blog called Fun Fact!   We could do it every week.  (Ha!  I act like I’m all consistent and shit.  FUN FACT!  I’m not.  Ha!)  But I could and should start with good intentions.   So Yes!  Weekly!

And just an FYI … not all Facts are “Fun” … but they will ALL be called “Fun Facts.”

SOOOOOOOO … Fun Fact #1 - I am a nail biter … and I hate it!   

First of all … I have the tiniest nail beds in all of the land.  I really do.  Add that to constant nervous BITING and Houston, we have a problem.   Well here, let me just SHOW you.

 Nails Before

See, it’s bad.  And that right there folks is the LONGEST my nails have been in months.  (Go ahead.  You can be grossed out.  I hate them.  I hate the habit. )

This stuff right here, is my saving grace.  I’ve been using it for 3 days now, and believe it or not, the picture above is GREAT progress.  Like AMAZING progress.  I didn’t think about taking a “before-before” picture, but I guess I should have.  My cuticles are SO much better now (I did have them bit down even worse) … and my nails were literally bleeding.

 Saving Grace

So the current goal is not to grow out my nails to be long and beautiful on their own.  I just don’t think that’s possible.  The biting habit it strong and embed’d in my brain.   SO my hope is that I can get them to grow enough (and strengthen them up enough) so that I can go back to wearing my acrylics like I used to.  The one and only thing that keeps me from biting my nails…is fake nails.

Pinterest inspiration:

 

P. S.  My last Fun Fact for the day is that I’m CRAZY jealous of all of you girly girls with amazing nails!  I see your blogs and your Instagrams.  So Cute!

 

I finally backed up all of the photos from my iPhone5 to my computer.  Finally.

I’m trying to get back into scrapbooking via #projectlife.  It’s a fun, new, somewhat easier way to scrapbook … but to do so … I needed to get some of my photos printed … yanno … on paper.

So I saved on my flash drive this morning.  Uploaded to the store on my lunch hour.  Picking them up after work.  Whee.

In the meantime.  I thought I’d share a few since … I never seem to share pictures anymore.   Ready? Set. Go.

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The super yummy shake that I ordered for my Daughter EVEN THOUGH I was low-carbing and couldn’t have one.

That’s true love right there.

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Oooooh.  Project Life AND a new iPhone 5 case.  (I kinda accidentally ordered 11 new cases.  Whoops.)

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I love this face.  She loves when her Mommy makes her have fun bath time hairdos.

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She was seriously TELLING on her Mama.  Kassi B says … MIMI!  Look what my Mama did.

Ohhhhhh No. No. No. No. No no no.

(Channel your inner “Land Before Time” Voice.)

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Sweet baby’s first Valentine’s Day!

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She was still a sleeping Princess when I left for work on Valentine’s Day.

Did I mention that I LOVE THAT FACE ♥

 

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My Hubs sends pretty flowers.  He knows how to make me smile.

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I just buy him beer after a long day.  That works too :)

 

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Those blue eyes.  The light catches them right … and one Instagram filter later = BLUE EYES!

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Swear Jesus.  Little things make my heart smile.  My babies still play tic-tac-toe at restaurants.

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My boyfriend is awesome.  That’s a given.

 

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Pretty toes.  Piggy Paint.  Non-toxic.

 

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We have a frame in our bathroom that we leave each other notes on.

Lately it’s been ALL about how many days my Tatum has til he turns 16.

Happens next Tuesday (26th) BTW.

**SOB**

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New fun app I found.  Cuptakes.  Ca-ute iPhone/iPad wallpapers.

I love all things girlie.

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She slept through my lunch the other day.  But that face.  Those eyelashes.  That sweet chubby little hand.  She melts her Mimi’s heart.

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Picture didn’t rotate.  But this is my Son’s truck (*SOB*).  He drove me home in the ice yesterday.  Luckily it didn’t get too back on the actual streets.  Cars, trees and buildings we’re a different story.  Ice City baby.

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Holy shit!  I actually posted.  And I’m actually scrapbooking this weekend.  Yay Me!

 

Being a woman is both the best thing in the world … and the worst at times.

Emotional roller coaster.

Up down. Up down.

And after months and months of UP … this week has kinda been … down.

For one, I haven’t been sleeping.  And I know, that plays a huge part in how I’ve been feeling the past few days. It’s a Catch22 in that I don’t know if I’m not sleeping because of the “downness” or if the “downness” is causing the insomnia.

I guess it doesn’t matter either way.  The Down and the Insomnia are both there.  They’re BFFs and always show up at the same time.

So yeah.  There’s the explanation to why I’ve been quiet.  I’m fine … I’m just … BLAH.

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” Martin Luther King

I love this Quote.  Very true.   I tend to turn to quotes and music when I’m feeling this way.  Brings in a little extra (much needed) motivation.

Fave Song Lately ????  Mumford && Sons – Lover of the Light.  ”So love the one you hold…And I’ll be your gold…To have and to hold…A lover of the light

Read more: MUMFORD & SONS – LOVER OF THE LIGHT LYRICS

Would love to type up a meaningful post today … but … I can’t.
Cause I have 2 million things to do so that I can leave in the morning for ….
CARDINAL WINTER WARM-UP in St. Louis.
Yup yup.

My Sister, her husband, MY Husband, me and my Son are heading NORTH for 3 days.
(Kassi B are her Mommy are staying home b/c she just isn’t ready to be away from her overnight … which I completely understand. I was the same way.)

Basically, I’ll get to meet a bunch of the players and get autographs (and photos hopefully). There are auctions (not that I have much cashola to spend) and different speaking type people. I don’t know really. I’ve never been. But it sounds like MUCH fun … and just a chance to get away and act like a crazy person for a few days! Whee!

If you don’t follow me on Twitter and Instagram … now is the time to start. I highly doubt I’ll post anything on the ole’ blog here … but updates will fly around over at those two places.

First though … I have to finish up at work, run across town to love on my friend’s baby for a minute, do several loads of laundry, BUY BEER, stock the cooler, PACK, wash my sheets and Clorox wipe my house down (my Mom is going to get some girl time in with my girls and heaven knows you make your house smell like bleach before THE MOM shows up), gas up the car, paint my toenails, give myself a facial, SPRAY TAN … and …. ummmmmm …. I don’t know …. a ton of other things before I go to bed.

Hope all of you have a great weekend.
Much Love!

P.S. I’m gonna be in the SAME FREAKING ROOM AS YADIER MOLINA on Monday!
****Insert FREAK OUT FACE here****
That is all.

Dinner

17
Jan
2013

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I have changed my fucking mind.
Again.
I have decided that I no longer give two shits what any person on the planet thinks of me.
Yep.
That’s right.
That includes YOU in that statement.
Every single one of you.
And I mean that in the most loving way possible, but let me explain.
I used to love blogging.
Loved it.
Was I all over the place with it … YES.
Was I inconsistent and either posted 12 times a day or not at all for months and months … YES.
Did I overshare and reveal too many details of my life and quite possibly make others uncomfortable … YES.
Did I experience bouts of “blog regret” and go on massive deleting sprees … YES.

BUT
(BIG ASS BUT RIGHT HERE)

I loved it.
It brought me joy and happiness.
I made friends and still to this day count them among some of the people I know BEST on the planet.
It was something that I did for ME.

Then … I got weird.
I started overthinking the whole concept.
I got paranoid that people I “knew” might be reading it.
I got scared of what people thought about me putting my life and thoughts on the Internet.
I worried that I was being gossiped about because of something I wrote on my blog.
I didn’t want people to think that my life wasn’t (or was) perfect.
I started censoring myself.

Ohh my kid pissed me off … can’t write about that … someone might think I’m a bad Mother.

Ohh the Husband and I got in a fight … can’t write about that …
people might assume we’re having martial problems or splitting up or something.

I worried that I since I never use proper punctuation, I make constant typos and I can’t spell for shit … that people would think I was stupid.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

To the point that I literally had nothing left to say.
I had put tape over my own mouth because I didn’t want to appear “human” to the outside world.
What “they” didn’t know couldn’t be analyzed or talked about or judged.

I have one thing to say about all of that.
To hell with that shit.
Seriously.
Not one more fuck will be given.

I’m sick and tired of my self-imposed silence.
I am who I am.
Whether I’m thinking “it” in my head or typing it on my blog.
Whether I’m posting it on Facebook (or not) or on Twitter (or not).

Some people in my life don’t even know the real me because I never show them.
Around them I’m quiet and proper.
I don’t cuss.
I don’t drink.
I say the right things (or nothing at all) and I act the way “they” would expect me to act.

Well guess what people … that ain’t me anymore.
I’m much closer to 40 than 30 and through all of these years … I’m still the same person on the inside.
AND
I happen to LIKE WHO I AM.
Better yet …. I LOVE WHO I AM!

I love that I can cuss like a Sailor because it makes me happy … Yet I still know when to be appropriate and mannered.

I love that I HATE “grown up” dress clothes and heels and MUCH prefer a pair of jeans, flip flops and a T-shirt ANY day of the week.

I love that I change my mind on a constant basis and something I may HATE today I will LOVE next week.

I love that I can throw back beers with the boys and fit right in and have no issue at all with having a glass of wine at Noon on a Saturday afternoon if the mood strikes me.

I love that (even though I quit) when I get stressed I’ll totally smoke a cigarette from my emergency stash to make myself feel better.

I love that I can fight and argue with The Husband and go to bed crazy angry just to wake up the next morning and forget all about it and act like nothing happened.

I also happen to love that he and I actually DO FIGHT because it means that we’re both human and that we both have OUR OWN OPINIONS. We’re together because we choose to share this life together and not because we’re identical robot twins.

I love that my kids are real people who make mistakes … and YES … piss me off. Neither of them are perfect (thank Jesus) but they are out there living their lives. Loving and growing and changing and fucking up and making it right and MAKING MEMORIES THEY’LL HAVE WITH THEM FOREVER and creating their own “story” that they’ll tell their kids and grandkids someday.

And most of all … I LOVE THAT I’M A MIMI to a beautiful 8 month old baby girl named Kassi B. In fact, SHE is the reason that I’m writing this post. She has come into my life at the exact perfect time and woke me the fuck up! She has reminded me that I am only going to be on this planet for a very short time and I need to LIVE MY LIFE. What is the purpose of ANYTHING if I’m “acting” or “pretending” or “censoring” everything that I say or think??

So there it is.
LC is back.
Or maybe I’m just now showing up for the party.
I don’t know for sure … but I DO KNOW that from here on out I’m going to REAL …
I’M GOING TO BE ME!

Will I say the wrong thing ??
Will I overshare ??
Will I offend some people ??
Will I make you think twice ??
Will I make you proud ??
Will I disappoint you ??
Will I piss you off ??
Will I make you wonder if I’ve truly lost my mind ??

I CERTAINLY HOPE SO … FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
Because if ANY of those things happen … it means I’m letting my TRUE light shine.
It means that I’m showing YOU who I am.
It’s means that the cookie cutter mold of the “perfect life” has been chunked in the trash and I AM FINALLY LIVING OUT LOUD !!!!!!

Much Love

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